In a conversation with young children J. Krishnamurti asserted the need for inner beauty, not superficial mannerism.
Unfortunately, we learn superficial manners. Watch the way you talk to the servant and the way you talk to the headmaster. To the one, you are tremendously respectful; to somebody who, you think, has got something to give you, you almost go on your knees. But to the labourer or to the poor beggar, you are indifferent, you do not care. But real consideration is when you have respect both for the poor man or the poor woman as well as the rich man. If in yourself you are rich, then you have affection, you have kindliness for others–it does not matter whether he is a governor or a labourer.
Have you ever smelled a flower? The flower is not concerned whether the passerby is a rich man or a poor man. It has perfume, it has beauty; it has no concern whether you are a boy or a governor or a cook. It is just a flower, and within itself is the beauty, the perfume.
If you have that sense of inward beauty, inward respect, inward love, inward feeling of being sensitive, then from that come nice, good, happy manners without compulsion. But without that, we are quite superficial; it is like putting on a coat–it looks very nice, but it is very shallow, empty.
Source : Jaddu Krishnamurti, What does freedom mean?